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She had saved many lives and needn’t spend the rest of her life burdened with guilt and shame for those she hadn’t been able to save. Zoa knelt that final time and raised her face to her Emperor. With the strangest mix of pride and humility in her heart, she listened to his praise of her. His voice was majestic, calm, and fatherly. He placed around her neck a medal of gold, and Zoa held her breath at the proximity of his hands. ‘What will you ask of your Emperor, young hero?’ he asked, his eyes locked to hers. For a moment Zoa couldn’t remember what she had meant to ask. It had been something important. Her ceremonial advisor had agreed to the question and had helped her rephrase it. It was… ‘I humbly ask a privilege far beyond me,’ said Zoa, the words coming back to her only as she spoke them, ‘I ask for access to my Emperor’s library, I ask for the assistance of my Emperor’s librarians in my fight against the abomination.’ ‘You could ask for gold, jewels, or land,’ said the. I watched as the minister stepped up beside me and slowly lowered her into the ground. At the last moment I peeled the wedding ring from my hand. The one her mother had placed there nineteen years ago. The one I had worn even after the divorce four years ago. I looked around one last time, hoping to see Donna rushing up. She wasn't there. Not for Julie's sweet sixteen, not for her graduation, not even now. I had forgiven her for it all, at Julies bequest, but not this. Julie would forgive her, I was sure, but not me, there was no forgiveness left inside of me. I dropped the ring. It struck the casket and rolled, circling around to a stop directly over Julie's heart. "Let Donna seek forgiveness here." I whispered, "From me she would find none. Not any more." I knew I should wait and greet those who had come, but it wasn't in me. My heart and soul and all I cared for in this world lay at the bottom of that hole. Nothing and nobody mattered anymore. I turned and walked away into my.
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